10 February 2010

Diet Songs: Tab

The repetition of the word 'beautiful' in this diet song is remarkable. It's not just that Tab is a beautiful drink, drunk by the beautiful people you'd like to be, themselves made beautiful by a fizzy diet drink; it's more that Tab itself is a philosophy of beauty. Whilst I like Tab's groovy lettering, I think this application of 'beautiful' is massively overstated and, basically, a lie.

In fact, if I rewrote the jingle to better reflect reality I might sing that Tab cola is a product of early diet-era marketing savvy, drunk in the name of fat hatred by people who don't care about its carcinogenic artificial sweeteners. Where's the beauty in that?

Maybe it's the multiple re-formulations in the wake of the cancer scares, and auxiliary brand failures (Tab Clear, anyone?), that signalled Tab's demise. The Coca-Cola Company poured its energy into Diet Coke's world domination, though I hear that there are still some die-hard fans who insist they like Tab for the taste. I imagine the Tab office in some dusty corner of the Coca-Cola Company's empire, the beautiful Tab people still working there despite it all, they've become all dusty and a bit dotty.

The original diet song is very frantic but nowhere near as frenzied as the Diet Pepsi song, or the one for Diet Coke. These jingles embody mid-80s hysteria. Our version is more mellow, starting off quite folky and then given some Pierre Henry/Les Yper-Sound treatment. I drew some beautiful people to go with it.

Diet Songs: Tab by Charlotte Cooper + Simon Murphy (.mp3, 600kb)

Diet Songs
New Project: Diet Songs
Diet Pepsi
Diet Coke
Special K

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