Do you think she will answer?

Dear Ms McKeith,

I am writing on behalf of the organising committee of a recent community harvest festival that was held at St Anne's Church on Dean Street, W1.

The purpose of the festival was to come together to celebrate good, seasonal food; to build community, and to have some fun. There was a political element to the event, most of us organising it are gay, and we wanted to make a statement against body fascism in the LGBT community, as well as critique the greed of the diet industry.

Ours was a non-profit event and, as is customary, we wanted our harvest festival to be a time of giving. We set up a collection box so that people could donate items they felt that they no longer had a use for. We wanted to encourage people to stop dieting and worrying about their weight, and to embrace wellness instead. People donated old diet books and weight loss paraphernalia.

Over 200 people attended the harvest festival. We held a vote to see who should be the recipient of the collection box and it was decided collectively that you would be an appropriate beneficiary because you are a key figurehead for the diet industry in the UK.

I have tried to find a mailing address for you, so that I can send you the collection, but you appear to be somewhat elusive!* Please could you let me know which is the best address for you. Better still, it would be wonderful if we could arrange a handing-over ceremony. Are you game?

Yours sincerely,

Charlotte Cooper
Co-organiser of The Fat of the Land: A Queer Chub Harvest Festival

* She has two addresses registered for McKeith Research Ltd, one is a commercial mailbox, the other is in a gated road in Hampstead (posh area of London, for non-Londoners reading this). I sent this letter to both, and her agent too.